The new Marauders
by dragonfire owns
Summary: Sirius convinces Harry to continue the marauders legacy. Craziness will ensue. Fifth year. Harry/Tonks. Rating might go up. ch 6 up.
1. Chapter 1

\

\

I do not own Harry Potter. Wish I did. Who knows what craziness would happen if I did. Well, maybe you're about to find out. :p

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Summary: It is the fifth year at Hogwarts. Harry was allowed to stay with Sirius at Grimmauld Place the whole summer, where his godfather convinced him to continue the Marauder legacy. Tonks and Harry met, realized they liked each other and a few days later were boyfriend/girlfriend. They kept this relationship secret from everyone but Sirius, who teased them about it every chance he got.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Harry was feeling, well, harried. Between Hermione pestering him to find out who his girlfriend was (at least she was the only one who had figured out he had one. Ron and Ginny remained blissfully ignorant), and trying to keep track of all of his stuff, Harry was getting quite annoyed. Grimmauld Place at this moment was a mess and the harpy, as Harry decided to call her for now, was not helping. Didn't she know that some people didn't get their stuff ready for school halfway through summer? In fact, now that Harry thought about it, she was the only person he knew who did that. Anyway, the train left in three hours and Harry was only half packed. True, part of this was because some of the stuff he did not want anyone to see (especially the harpy), but couldn't she leave him in peace so that he could have a last minute snog with Tonks? There she was again, babbling on about how 'friends aren't supposed to hide anything from each other' and 'betrayal of trust.'

"HERMIONE SHUT UP!" he yelled. And shut up she did.

Harry continued in a calmer voice, "You've hidden thing from us before, and frankly, I need peace and quite so I don't go insane right now."

"Fine," huffed Hermione as she stormed out.

'Thank Merlin she's gone' thought Harry, as he grabbed several fragile items from a secret drawer in his bed and packed them into his trunk. He quickly finished up his packing, fished his last few quills out from the cracks in the floor, piled his robes on the top of his trunk and closed it just as Tonks burst in.

"Hi Harry," she said, closing the door behind her.

"Hi Nymph," said Harry, walking towards her and grabbing her into a hug.

Tonks returned the hug and then held his shoulders at arms length.

"I'm going to miss you," she said.

"Well, I certainly won't miss me," said Harry.

Tonks cuffed him lightly on the shoulder, "What about me," she pouted, "will you miss me?"

"You know I will Nymph," said Harry, enveloping her in another hug. Their lips found each other for a moment before Tonks pulled away.

"I know what you are doing for Sirius this year," she said.

"It's not just for him. Him and you," was the reply.

"What do you mean?"

"Sirius and Remus told all about what you did while you were at school. If there were two of you, I would be surprised if the school was still standing after you left. I just find this as a way to carry on the legacy of my favorite people."

"And I'm sure you will do an excellent job. You have Marauder blood in your veins after all. Between you and the twins, Hogwarts won't know what hit her. Just find a way for me to see it."

"Got that covered," said Harry, opening his trunk and pulling out a large case. He pulled a small muggle video camera out of it and set it on the bed.

"There's no way that is going to work at Hogwarts."

"Oh yeah?"

Harry took of his glasses and set them next to the camera. _"Evinxi,"_ he said, pointing his wand at the camera and then the glasses. The camera shimmered and then seemed to zoom into the glasses. If you looked closely, small buttons could be seen on the right side of the glasses.

"There."

"Smart man, Harry, smart man."

They kissed again, but pulled apart when a voice said, "You remind me so much of James and Lily."

They looked up to see Sirius standing in the doorway.

"I used to do the same thing to them," he continued as he walked around the bed to stand next to them, putting a hand on each of their shoulders, "Walk in on them snogging I mean. Anyway is everything packed?"

Harry nodded.

"Great. I've asked the Weasley twins to help you if you need it. They were more than happy to oblige."

"Harry. Why are they allowed in your room and I'm not?" asked Hermione who was standing in the doorway when they looked up.

"Because I'm done packing and they don't drive me crazy by asking who my girlfriend is," replied Harry.

"You've got a girlfriend??" came Ron's voice and his head popped around the door.

"Hermione, you might have mentioned you told him to hide behind the door before you did that."

"Who is it," said another voice and Ginny popped her head around the door too.

"Not telling," said Harry, crossing his arms.

Ginny pulled out her wand. "You've got until three to tell me or I hex you."

"One." Harry reached into his pocket.

"Two." Harry pulled out a small sphere, and pressed the record button on his glasses.

"Three." Harry smirked. Ginny cast a bat-bogey hex towards Harry, but instead of hitting him, it hit the sphere which flew towards Hermione, Ron and Ginny and exploded in a cloud of yellow smoke.

During the confusion, Harry's voice whispered, "Do it now."

Coughing, Hermione, Ron and Ginny stumbled out of the smoke into the room. Looking around, they only saw an open window. Harry, Sirius and Tonks had disappeared, along with Harry's trunk and owl cage. The trio looked around, but only saw a small note on which were the words "Fred a Jiří got nic dále tato."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ok, yes, they can use magic at Grimmauld place because it is a magical, pureblood house.


	2. Chapter 2

Me no own Harry. He belongs to J.K. Rowling, and Tonks.

Recap: Coughing, Hermione, Ron and Ginny stumbled out of the smoke into the room. Looking around, they only saw an open window. Harry, Sirius and Tonks had disappeared, along with Harry's trunk and owl cage. The trio looked around more, but only saw a small note on which were the words "Fred a Jiří got nic dále tato."

-- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Hermione stared at the letter in her hands. 'What language is that?' she thought. 'I recognize Fred and got, but... OH SHIT!' This last part she said aloud. Noticing the now smoking letter, the others let out similar exclamations. Hermione tried to drop it, but it was stuck to her hand. It exploded a few seconds later… covering them in green and silver-the Slytherin colors.

"Ack. Just wait until Fred and George see this," said Ginny.

"Yeah, they'll either murder us because they think we're going Slytherin on them or they'll laugh their arses off," said Ron.

"Let's try and clean it up," said Hermione, always the practical one.

They rushed into the bathroom, thankfully not being seen by anyone. Ron went straight to the shower while Hermione and Ginny started fighting over the sink. Soon, however, they realized that the paint was not going to come off.

"Okay," said Hermione, "let's try cleaning spells."

She pulled out her wand, pointed it at her clothes, and said "_Scourgify._"

It didn't work.

"Okay," said Hermione again, trying to maintain her composure, "Let's talk to Mrs. Weasley. I'm sure she knows something that will get this stuff off."

She didn't. Well, she thought she did, but everything she tried did not work.

"Ooooh, when I get my hands on Harry…" shouted Ginny.

"At least we can take our clothes off and change them," said Ron.

"Why do I get the feeling that isn't going to work," said Hermione, sighing.

After trying- and failing- to pull of his shirt, Ron submitted defeat.

"We can't go to the station like this! What will everyone think??" Ginny was in hysterics now.

"Well, everyone will be angry" said Hermione, "except for Malfoy: he's going to go homicidal."

"Like he isn't already," muttered Ron.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Ouch," said Sirius, wincing after he heard Ginny yell, "Start running mate. Don't stop, don't look back."

They were outside Grimmauld place, in the front garden, extendable ears in their hands.

"Let's get to the station," said Tonks, looking at her watch.

They tucked the extendable ears back into their pockets, and grabbed the trunk and cage. Sirius transformed into "Snuffles" and Tonks grabbed Harry's arm and they apparated to the apparition point outside of King's Cross station.

They appeared in an alley and quickly walked out of it, making room for the next people. They walked towards the barrier, and casually leaned against it, chatting. They slid through it, and viewed the un-crowded, but rapidly filling, platform.

"Harry, me and Snuffles have to get to Hogsmeade. We're covertly guarding Hogwarts, although the ministry thinks everything is fine," said Tonks with disgust.

"I understand," said Harry, moving forward and kissing Tonks.

Sirius looked away as they continued this display for several minutes before breaking apart.

"Okay, we gotta go. Love ya," said Tonks.

"Love you too," said Harry as they disappeared.

Wheeling his trunk around, he started searching for a compartment before Hermione and Ron got there. He found their usual compartment empty and slid in.

'Now. Time to make some changes before Ron and Hermione get here,' He thought.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Kinda short, but I think it works. Thanks for the reviews Shadow High Angel, Garrett627, Makatochi and Irishfighter.


	3. Chapter 3

/

/

Recap:

'Now. Time to make some changes before Ron and Hermione get here,' He thought.

- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Angry was not the right word. Try totally pissed. That was what Ron, Hermione and Ginny were feeling at this moment. And embarrassed. But mostly pissed. They had arrived at the station wearing sweatshirts with hoods and hats. Thankfully no one recognized them and they clambered onto the train and their normal compartment. Looking around, they saw one person already, but it wasn't Harry. It was a small, blonde first year who looked remarkably like Draco Malfoy.

"And who're you?" Ron asked gruffly.

"Elan Moon," said the boy.

"Then why do you look like Draco Malfoy?"

"I'm his younger brother."

"I didn't know Malfoy had a brother."

"That's because I got disowned after I ran away. I got fed up with their pureblood agenda."

"Never thought I'd meet a decent Malfoy."

Elan glanced at Ron's extended hand then took it, saying, "It's Moon."

"So, now that you know me, who're you?" asked Elan.

"Oh, I'm Ron Weasley," said Ron.

"Hermione Granger," said Hermione.

"Ginny Weasley," said Ginny.

"Aren't you three in Gryffindor?"

They nodded.

"Then what's with the Slytherin paint?"

"Oh, I forgot about that. Harry's become a real prankster over the summer. He covered us with this stuff, and we can't get it off," said Hermione.

"Harry as in Harry Potter right?"

More nodding.

"Isn't he really serious? Especially after what happened last year?"

"How do you know that he's so serious?" Ron asked suspiciously.

"Oh, my sister told me."

"So now Malfoy has a sister too??"

"No, his adoptive sister you twit," said Hermione.

"Yeah, Jenna Moon, she's in Ravenclaw, your year. So is he really serious or not?"

"Umm, well he was, but I think Fred, George and Sirius rubbed off on him over the summer. That and he got a girlfriend."

"Sirius Black? His Godfather?"

The three were dumbstruck.

"How did you know that?" asked Ginny.

"My sister."

"And how did she know?"

"She has her ways. She is a Ravenclaw for a reason. And before you hex me," said Elan, eyeing the three wands pointed at him, "let me say I believe all of you about everything. About Sirius being innocent and Voldemort being back."

"How do we know that you're not lying?" Ron asked, suspicious again, too occupied to notice Elan said Voldemort.

"I swear upon my magic that I believe Harry Potter, Ronald Weasley, Hermione Granger and Ginevra Weasley."

When nothing happened the three relaxed.

"Now that you three actually trust me, where is Harry? I have to thank him for allowing me to escape that horrid family."

"Ummmm, he doesn't like his fame much so he's liable to hex you for thanking him," said Hermione.

"Wait a second. Aren't you two Prefects? Aren't you supposed to be having a meeting right now?"

Hermione's hand flew to her mouth. "Crap," she said, and then gestured towards the paint, "but we don't want to go like this."

"Hmmmmmm, I think I know something that might get that off," said Elan, fingering his wand that he had slid out of his pocket.

"Don't bother," Ron said gloomily, "My mum tried to get it off, but it didn't work."

"Still…_Efrusio_," said Elan, waving his wand over the three of them.

At once, the paint melted off and disappeared, leaving three figures, all with gaping mouths.

"Three questions. What is that spell? How do you know it? You shouldn't be able to perform magic yet, so how can you use that spell?" asked Hermione

"Well, I made that spell up, I use it to clean up after my sister screws up a potion and gets knocked out, and it's one of the advantages of being pureblooded and having parents at work all day."

"Let's get the meeting Hermione," said Ron.

Ron and Hermione disappeared, leaving Ginny to sit down across from Elan.

"So, who is Harry's girlfriend?"

Ginny sighed. "That's actually what started this whole mess," she said.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Hermione has been bugging Harry for a while now asking who his girlfriend was. Me and Ron had no clue he even had a girlfriend until this morning, after Harry kicked Hermione out of his room. She came and told us to follow her to Harry's room, and then asked us to hide behind the door. She went in and started asking who his girlfriend was, and the Ron ruined it and popped his head around the door. I did the same thing and then tried to hex him into telling us. But instead of hitting Harry, I hit this ball he had pulled from his pocket. It flew towards us and exploded into a loud of yellow smoke, which, Hermione thinks, was a form of a sticking charm, because we can't take our clothes off. In the confusion Harry had disappeared, along with Sirius and Nymphadora Tonks. He left a note which then exploded and covered us with the paint."

"What did the note say?"

"Well, it was in another language."

"What did it say?"

"Some thing like 'Fred a Jiří got nic dále tato.'

Elan nodded, saying, "Sounds like Czech to me."

"Czech?"

Elan nodded again. "My father has this database of languages at our house because he works for the Department for International Co-operation. I was flipping through it when I was bored this summer, and that was one that caught my eye."

"So do you know what it means?" Ginny sounded hopeful.

Elan shook his head. "My Czech isn't that good yet. At least you know what language it is."

"Hey Ginny," came a voice from the door.

Ginny turned, and then welcomed Neville Longbottom into the compartment.

"Hey Neville. This is Elan Moon. Elan, Neville Longbottom."

Elan shook Neville's hand, saying, "Neville Longbottom, best in the year at Herbology?"

Neville blushed. "That's me," he said.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - -- -- -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

As she and Ron rushed through the train towards the prefect's compartment, Hermione was thinking. Elan seemed to know too much for a first year, and that wand definitely looked familiar. And that mischievous glint in his eyes…

Hermione was jolted out of her thoughts by Ron stopping suddenly in front of her.

"We're here," he whispered.

"Open the door," she hissed.

"Well, well, if it isn't Granger and the Weasel," said a cold, drawling voice.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - -- - - - - - - -- - -- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -

As she opened the door to the compartment, Hermione felt exhausted. This day could not get any worse in her opinion. Getting covered in paint, Malfoy a prefect and having to do extra rounds because they were late. Oh, and Harry apparently missing, although knowing him, he would be watching them from under the invisibility cloak.

Looking up into the compartment, she saw Elan, Neville and Ginny talking about something. She and Ron wearily sat down and closed their eyes. They listened to the conversation a bit before falling asleep.

The conversation was, in fact, about Harry. What he was like, who his friends were and general speculation on who his girlfriend was. They spent most of the ride talking about him, and were surprised when the train stopped at Hogsmeade station.

/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

This chapter was a bit longer than the others. I'll explain about Elan in the next chapter, and some pranks will be set in motion.

Thanks for the reviews everyone, and for the rest of you, REVIEW! Thank you.


	4. Chapter 4

What, only one review last chapter

What, only one review last chapter? Oh well.

- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - -- -- - -- -- - -- -- - - - - - -- -- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - - - - - --

The group exited the compartment in high spirits. They had narrowed down the list of people who could be Harry's girlfriend down to five, thought they knew what Harry was doing and had figured out a way to get back at him. Elan departed with Hagrid while everyone else loaded onto a carriage.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -- - - -- - - --

"GRYFFINDOR!" Shouted the hat.

Elan hopped off of the stool and walked over to the Gryffindor table. His sister and the Gryffindor table clapped while Malfoy looked downright murderous. Elan reached the table and sat down next to Neville. As the sorting continued, he fell into conversation with Neville about the greenhouses. Hermione, Ron and Ginny, meanwhile, were worried. They knew how much Harry liked the Sorting, so they were sure that Harry would be at the feast, but he wasn't sitting at any table. They were asking around at this moment if anyone has seen him, and several people were sure they saw him boarding the train. Ginny was optimistic.

"Well, we'd know if you-know-who kidnapped him from the train, so he's here somewhere," she said.

By this point, the sorting was over and Dumbledore had stood up to make his speech. As he opened his mouth to speak, an owl winged into the hall and Elan surreptitiously pulled out a pair of glasses and pressed a button on them. The hall watched the owl's progress as it flew across the hall and dropped a letter in front of Dumbledore. Dumbledore dropped into his seat, looked at the letter suspiciously, and then opened it. Immediately, a pair of glasses flew out. These however weren't your normal glasses. The several muggleborns recognized what it was immediately. It was one of those corny muggle disguises, with a fake nose and thick eyebrows hanging off of it. It flew towards Dumbledore and knocked off his half-moon glasses. They settled on his nose, and the hall erupted in laughter. Students and teachers alike were laughing and Dumbledore soon joined in. In the levity, Dumbledore said, "Wonderful. Whoever sent this knows my prescription."

Everyone was laughing so hard that nobody noticed a blue glow coming from the envelope.

- - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - -- -- - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - -- -- --

"Harry!" Hermione exclaimed.

Ron and Ginny turned. There, standing in the entrance to the common room, was Harry.

"Where were you, mate?" Ron asked, making his way over to Harry.

"At the feast," said Harry, slowly pulling his wand out of his back pocket.

Ginny just glared at Harry, while Hermione sighed.

"Harry, you weren't at the feast. We looked all over for you," Hermione said exasperatedly.

"Yes, I was," said Harry, holding up something he had clutched in his hand.

"Ugh. You know, you really could have told us before you used that," said Ron, glaring at the offending invisibility cloak.

"Can I hex him now?" asked Ginny.

"Now, Ginny, remember what happened last time?" asked Harry, pulling a ball out of his pocket and holding it up.

"You don't have to remind us about that you know," said Ginny.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- -- - - - -- - -- - - - - -- - -- - -- - - - - - - -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Harry sighed as he flopped down onto his bed. Already, his three pranks so far went off without a hitch, and a fourth was in motion. How hard could this be, he thought. He was lucky, he supposed, that Hermione, Ron and Ginny had bought the Elan Moon act. He was sure that Hermione suspected something, but she would find out soon enough. At least he didn't have to lie to them. Looking over to make sure no one was looking, he pulled a picture out of his trunk. It showed Harry standing next to Elan, the Quidditch shop in the background. Harry let his thoughts wander back to that day.

"_Harry was standing in Diagon Alley, his hand held firmly by Tonks. Just standing, bracing themselves to go into the horrible smelling apothecary. They were about to go in when a familiar looking teenage girl was shoved through the door, covered in slime, pushed by a more familiar looking young boy. The girl, Jenna Moon, leaned up against the wall, copied by the boy, who was saying, "And how are we supposed to get this off?"_

_Harry wandered over, got their names. They tried to get the slime off with water and scourgify, but it didn't work. Then, Harry remembered a spell that he had seen Fred and George do earlier that summer to clean off a desk. With Tonks and Elan's help, they modified the spell so that it could clean things off of living things. Jenna and Elan hung around with Harry and Tonks for the rest of the day. Harry learned that Elan was, in fact, Malfoy's younger brother, had ran away from them because of their pureblood ideas, and had been found by the Moon's. They took him in, but were scared of what Malfoy would do if Elan went to Hogwarts. So, they decided to send him to a smaller school that was actually in Britain. It was at that moment that Harry had come up with the idea for his prank on Malfoy. He had had to ask Jenna if it was okay, of course, and she said it was. Harry, Elan, Tonks, and Jenna had become fast friends that day, and had corresponded a lot over the summer._

'Elan is a great kid,' thought Harry.

His musing was interrupted by a great snore coming from Ron's bed.

'Finally, they're all asleep.'

Harry rose up out of his bed and quickly exited the tower, throwing the invisibility cloak on as he went. When he got to his destination, he pulled a bag out of his pocket. In the dim light, the words "Lemon Drops" could be seen on the bag. Quietly, he opened the bag and started pouring out the Lemon Drops.

/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Well, hope you liked it. Next chapter: The funniest prank yet (in my opinion anyway).

Review please.


	5. Chapter 5

Sorry for the slow update, but I had a soccer tournament this weekend

Sorry for the slow update, but I had a soccer tournament last weekend and school just started. Anyway, enjoy.

\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\\/\\/\\/

Dumbledore woke up with a terrible need for Lemon Drops. He looked around his office, but his usual bowl of Lemon Drops was empty.

'Strange,' he thought, 'I don't remember finishing them.' He decided that he would go ask a house elf to get some more, probably Dobby. Stepping out of his office, the first thing he noticed were the Lemon Drops that were scattered all around the gargoyle that guarded his office. He reached for one… and found that the Lemon Drops skittered away from him.

'Strange,' he thought, 'since when do Lemon Drops skitter?'

Shaking his head, he pursued the Lemon Drops down, through the Entrance Hall and into the Great Hall, ignoring the odd looks he was receiving. He raced through the hall and up to the teachers table, where the Lemon Drops dove through the legs of Rubeus Hagrid, just as Dumbledore dove at them. The look on the Headmaster's face was priceless as he slid to a stop at the half-giant's feet.

"Professor, what are you doing?" Hagrid asked in his gruff voice.

"Erm… Trying to eat my Lemon Drops?" said Dumbledore.

"Albus, that is no reason to go running all over the place in your bath robe!" broke in the stern voice of McGonagall, "And I don't see any Lemon Drops.

And indeed he realized he was still wearing his bathrobe. He drew it closer to him and said, "Right there! Hagrid would you kindly move?"

Hagrid stepped out of the way, to reveal a clean floor, with no trace of Lemon Drops whatsoever.

Dumbledore stared at the floor in dismay, before whispering two words.

"Harry Potter!"

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - -- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - --

The first class of the day for the Gryffindors was, unfortunately, Umbridge's Defense against the Dark Arts class. Hermione was frantically looking around the class, for Harry had yet to show up. However, she noticed a ball on a seat far away from her, one that looked remarkably like the one Harry had used on her. She got up to remove it when Professor Umbridge walked into the room.

"Miss would you kindly sit down?" she said in her high-pitched, horrible voice.

Hermione sat, wondering where Harry was yet again.

Umbridge started calling roll. Everyone was there until she got to Harry.

"Mr. Potter?" she called again, "Mr. Potter?"

"Mr. Potter is not available at this time. To make up for this, we have a recording of a song. Thank you," said a female voice emanating from the ball in Harry's seat. What followed was a recording of one of the most obnoxious songs known to mankind.

Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey  
Brass Monkey - junkie  
That funky Monkey

Got this dance that's more than real  
Drink Brass Monkey - here's how you feel  
Put your left leg down - your right leg up  
Tilt your head back - let's finish the cup  
M.C.A. with the bottle - D. rocks the can  
Adrock gets nice with Charlie Chan  
We're offered Moet - we don't mind Chivas  
Wherever we go with bring the Monkey with us  
Adrock drinks three - Mike D. is D.  
Double R. foots the bill most definitely  
I drink Brass Monkey and I rock well  
I got a Castle in Brooklyn - that's where I dwell

Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey  
Brass Monkey - junkie  
That funky Monkey

"Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!" screamed Umbridge, waving her wand to silence it.

Nothing Happened.

"Ok, I'll destroy it!"

She cast a Reducto at it, but instead of destroying the sphere, it multiplied it, so that the rest of the lines were really loud and came from everywhere. Not to mention the fact that Umbridge was standing up to her eyeballs in the singing spheres.

Cause I drink it anytime - and anyplace  
When it's time to get ill - I pour it on my face  
Monkey tastes Def when you pour it on ice  
Come on y'all it's time to get nice  
Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky  
Me and the crew - we're drinking Brass Monkey  
This girl walked by - she gave me the eye  
I reached in the locker - grabbed the Spanish Fly  
I put it in the Monkey - mixed it in the cup  
Went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"  
I offered her a sip - the girl she gave me lip  
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip

Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey  
Brass Monkey - junkie  
that funky Monkey

Step up to the bar - put the girl down  
She takes a big gulp and slaps it around  
Take a sip - you can do it - you get right to it  
We had a case in the place and we went right through it  
You got a dry Martini - thinking you're cool  
I'll take your place at the bar - I smack you off your stool  
I'll down a '40 dog" in a single gulp  
And if you got beef you'll get beat to a pulp  
Monkey and parties and reelin' and rockin'  
Def, def - girls, girls - all y'all jockin'  
The song and dance keeping you in a trance  
If you don't buy my record I got my advance  
I drink it - I think it - I see it - I be it  
I love Brass Monkey but I won't give D. it  
We got the bottle - you got the cup  
Come on everybody let's get ffffff

Brass Monkey - that funky Monkey  
Brass Monkey - junkie  
That funky Monkey

After the song, the female voice came back.

"And now for our feature presentation."

Sometimes I  
Need to remember just to breathe  
Sometimes I  
Need you to stay away from me  
Sometimes I'm  
In disbelief I didn't know  
Somehow I  
Need you to go

Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
What you were changing me into  
(Just give me myself back and)  
Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
Take all your things I snatched from you  
(Just give me myself back and)  
Don't stay

Sometimes I  
Feel like I trusted you too well  
Sometimes I  
Just feel like screaming at myself  
Sometimes I'm  
In disbelief I didn't know  
Somehow I  
Need to be alone

Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
What you were changing me into  
(Just give me myself back and)  
Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
Take all your things I snatched from you  
(Just give me myself back and)  
Don't stay

I don't need you anymore  
I don't want to be ignored  
I don't need one more day  
Of you wasting me away  
(2x)

Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
What you were changing me into  
(Just give me myself back and)  
Don't stay  
Forget our memories  
Forget our possibilities  
Take all your things I snatched from you  
(Just give me myself back and)

Don't stay (3x)

By the end of the song, several muggleborns were singing along, while Umbridge was almost deaf. At this point in time, Albus Dumbledore burst through the door.

"Harry Potter! Where is— Professor Umbridge is that you," he said, staring at the pile of little balls.

"Mmmmmphh," groaned the pile.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Hmmm, not much content in this chapter. I think it's enough though, gets the point across.

Songs used: Brass Monkey- the Beastie Boys

Don't Stay- Linkin Park


	6. Chapter 6

I am really, really sorry for the delay of this chapter

I am really, really sorry for the delay of this chapter. School is killing me this year, and the soccer season just started. Also, writers block is a terrible thing. You can kill me if you want to, but then you won't get anymore story.

/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\\/\\/\\/\/\/\/\/

"Mmmmmphh," groaned the pile.

"Dolores, are you alright?" asked Dumbledore.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmphh."

"What?" said Dumbledore, leaning closer.

Umbridge had, by this point, managed to get the balls away from her mouth.

"I said, the name is Madame Umbridge, Senior Undersecretary to God, the minister, and ruler of earth!"

"Not to mention the most insane bitch in the universe!" yelled the balls.

Umbridge finally managed to free herself, and she glared at the class, who were laughing their arses off.

"Detention to all of you for the rest of your life and may you all go to hell!" she shrieked.

This just made them laugh harder.

"Minerva will you please escort Dolores to the hospital wing? I believe she is suffering from severe trauma and is not used to being laughed at," said Dumbledore.

"Dolores, follow me please," said McGonagall.

"I told you, it's Madame Umbridge, Sen…" She was cut off as McGonagall closed shoved her through the door and shut it firmly behind her. You could hear her shouts of protest echoing through the hall as she was led to the infirmary.

"Now, back to the business I came for. Where is Harry Potter?" asked Dumbledore.

"Please sir, we haven't seen him since last night," said Hermione.

"Does anyone know where he went?"

"No. When Harry disappears, he disappears," said Ron.

Dumbledore glanced at Ron and Hermione.

"Class dismissed. You two stay here," he said to Ron and Hermione.

When the class left, Dumbledore cast a locking charm and a silencing charm. When this was done, he turned to Ron and Hermione.

"I thought I told you two to watch him," he said.

"But, Professor-." started Hermione.

"No buts Miss. Granger. I gave you a task and you have not completed it. I will give you one more chance, but if Voldemort does something to Harry it's on your heads."

"Yes professor," they said, flinching at Voldemort's name.

"Now, I heard that you two and Ginny showed up at the train station wearing green and silver. I thought you hated Slytherins?" asked Dumbledore.

- - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - -- - - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Meanwhile, Neville Longbottom appeared in the Gryffindor common room. After making sure no one else was near he started looking around for something on the floor and evidently found it, because he stooped down and picked it up. A trapdoor appeared in the wall and he entered, making sure to drop the item after he entered the trapdoor. This secret area of Gryffindor tower was something that Harry had discovered while he was reading over the summer. It was connected to a specific item, which opened the trapdoor after it was picked up. The trapdoor would only disappear after that person dropped the item.

Neville crawled through a narrow passageway into a room that was an exact model of the Gryffindor common room. Inside of it were the Weasley twins and Harry Potter. They were sitting at one of the tables in a corner of the room. Harry had some parchment in front of him, while the Fred was reading something out loud and George was pouring over the Marauders map.

"Hey guys, what're you doing?" asked Neville.

They looked up, and smiled when they saw him.

"Just looking at the book of Marauders pranks and planning on which ones to do tomorrow," said Harry.

"Ones? As in multiple? Merlin, Harry, the whole school will hate you before Halloween!" said Neville.

"Yup. Multiple. And don't worry about the whole school hating me. I'll only prank those that deserve it," said Harry.

"Like those…"

"slimy…"

"ugly…"

"snaky…"

"gits…"

"the Slytherins," chorused the twins.

"Hey. Not all Slytherins are bad you know. How about you say all the Slytherins, EXCEPT for Daphne Greengrass. And snakes aren't evil once you get to know them," said Harry.

"Who's Daphne…"

"your girlfriend?"

"Would you two stop it? That's annoying. Anyway, no, she's not my girlfriend. I already have one."

"Who's your girlfriend Harry? Parkinson?" said George.

"Ewwwww. Gross. No. I wasn't planning on telling anyone who it was this soon, but since you two would find out anyway, and I was planning on telling you, Neville, I guess I'll tell you. Now, I'm not sure if you know her Neville, but her name is Nymphadora Tonks."

The twins went into a kind of trance while Neville sat, thinking.

"Nymphadora Tonks. As in Andromeda Tonks' daughter?" asked Neville.

Harry nodded, saying, "You know her?"

"Aunt Andromeda comes over for tea once a week."

At this point the twins came out of their stupor.

"You're going…" started Fred

"out with…" said George

"Tonks?"

"Stoppit! Stoppit stoppit stoppit stoppit!" yelled Harry.

"Oh, right."

"Carry on." Said the twins, smiling.

"You two are real gits, you know that? Anyway, yes, I am going out with Tonks."

"I bet Hermione would love to hear about this," said Fred.

Harry pulled out his wand. "If you two tell anyone, I will start pranking you and only you."

"You wouldn't dare," said George.

Harry just smiled and pulled out another small, metal ball.

"Fred, George I don't think you should tell anyone. And just sit down," said Neville, remembering Umbridge.

Fred and George glanced at Neville and then said, "Fine, fine, fine."

"Good. Now that that is settled, Neville, do you have the glasses?" said Harry, putting the ball.

"Yes, I do," said Neville, handing over the glasses.

"Great. Okay, let's see. _Semoveo_," said Harry, pointing his wand at the glasses. The glasses shimmered for a second, before the muggle video camera separated itself from the glasses.

"Now let's see what havoc was wrecked today," said Harry, "_Lascivio._"

/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Ugh. Finally done. This took me what, 3 weeks to write? Really shouldn't have taken that long considering how short it is.

Speaking of length of chapters, there is a poll on my profile about the length of the chapters. You really need to vote on this. Really, seriously.

Also, REVIEW!!


	7. not a chapter

Ok, so this is not a chapter

Ok, so this is not a chapter. I am currently in the middle of the next one, which I find extremely hard to write due to lack of ideas. If any of you have ideas, send them to me, and I'll work them in.

Sakae Doragon- I WILL be putting you're suggestion in there about 2-3 chapters from now probably.

Linkin Park 04- Yeah, there's a surprising amount of H/T fics out there. It's actually one of my favorite pairings. (By the way, I love the name. Great band, great band.)

Ginny75- Yes(not necessarily bad, just manipulative), and yes. Although I think maybe Hermione will stop eventually.

Thank you all for the reviews.


End file.
